If you’re here it’s because you’re a good friend and you want to help someone close to you deal and move on from their breakup. Below, we’ll discuss what you can do to help your friend get past a breakup, using actionable advice and conversation starters to begin the process of moving on from a relationship. In addition, we’re here if you or your friend needs someone to talk to. Simply text CONNECT to 741741 to chat with a volunteer Crisis Counselor at any time —our service is free, confidential, and available 24/7. 

Every situation is unique, so whether your friend ended their relationship or was on the receiving end of a breakup, use the following advice as a starting point. The most important thing is to actively listen, avoid judgment, and provide your friend with a safe space to process their emotions, no matter how they’re feeling.

4 Things You Can Say to a Friend After a Break-Up

When a friend is going through a breakup, there are no magic words that can cure them of their sadness, which can make it hard to know what to say in those situations. While your friend needs to process their emotions to truly move forward,  there are certain things you can say to help them know they’re supported. Those phrases include:

• “I’m here for you,” 
• “If you feel like texting your ex, you can text me instead,”
• “It’s okay to ugly cry,” 
• “You’re grieving a relationship so it’s okay and normal to have these feelings.”

When your friend is receptive to your help and open to advice about moving on from their ex, you can follow the steps in the section below. 

9 Pieces of Advice to Give a Friend After a Break-Up

Moving on from an ex doesn’t happen overnight, but the advice below can ease the transition so your friend can let go. The following breakup advice ranges from eliminating reminders of an ex and removing all forms of contact to being distracted and having perspective. Though not an exhaustive list, this advice  provides a solid starting point for helping a friend deal with a breakup. With each subsequent piece of advice, your friend can start to let go slowly, but everyone’s healing journey is different. Give your friend as much time as they need and try to be there for them. 

Go No Contact

Eliminating all contact with an ex is a good first step to moving on. That can mean blocking or deleting an ex’s phone number, though avoiding contact is harder to do if your friend lives with their ex. In that case, it may be best to limit contact only to pertinent topics, such as who’s moving out and who’s taking what. 

In any case, this piece of advice gets top billing due to how hard it is to pull off — couples’ lives are sometimes more intertwined than we realize. Your friend may falter and communicate with their ex, but remember not to be judgemental. Remind your friend of the progress they’ve made and how communicating with their ex can set them back on their path to healing from the breakup. 

Get All of the Feelings Out

Everyone has a different way of dealing with their emotions; the key point here is that your friend deals with their emotions in a healthy way. Journaling is ideal, encouraging your friend to express their feelings in private and to record their thoughts to reflect upon later is a good step. Recording voice memos or talking with friends are other examples. 

Reassure your friend that you’re there to support them no matter how emotional they get — big feelings are welcome in this step. Talking and venting can also help if your friend is depressed because of the breakup. 

Remove All Reminders of Them

Whether it’s mementos from a trip, pictures on the fridge, gifts, or birthday cards, it’s important to get rid of anything that reminds your friend of their ex. The longer people have dated, the harder it is to pull this off, and your friend may not get rid of every reminder right away — things have a habit of becoming lost and reappearing when you least expect it. 

This also applies to digital memories, such as images tucked away in your friend’s phone. Thankfully, Google and Apple have made it easier to prevent exes from appearing in memories. Removing all reminders is no easy feat because it’s a painful, emotional process, but it’s for the best. 

Delete Them on Social Media

It’s only human to want to keep tabs on an ex and obsess over their life after the breakup. Social media has made it easier than ever to do just that, but it’s an unhealthy behavior that prevents a person from moving on. Gently nudge your friend to delete their ex on all social media platforms, even those they’re inactive on. The sooner they delete or block their ex from socials, the sooner they can begin to heal. 

Keep Themselves Busy

Breakups can often feel all-consuming, so it’s important to step away by keeping busy. While distracting oneself to avoid dealing with emotions is not healthy in the long term, a good distraction can be just what your friend needs. Exercise is a great idea, especially since regular exercise can improve a person’s mood and overall mental health — self-care is always a good idea when feeling down.

You can also encourage your friend to step out of their comfort zone by trying something they’ve always wanted to. The excitement of trying something new allows your friend to forget about the breakup for a bit. Planning outings is another good idea, as is spending time with loved ones — you can combine the two for an even greater effect. 

Share Your Experience

Sharing about a breakup you went through can allow your friend to gain perspective on the situation, especially if you describe how you moved on from the breakup. Make yourself available to answer any questions your friend may have about your past breakup. It’s worth pointing out that you should only do this if you actually went through it, otherwise, it may come off as being ingenuine. 

Provide Reassurance

People break up every day, and they all get past it eventually. It’s important to remind your friend that, although they may feel like they’re the only one dealing with these emotions, they’re not alone. Try doing this without invalidating their feelings. Reassure them that even though it feels like they’ll never be able to move on, it will happen with time. 

Give Themselves Grace

People are often their own worst critic, and they tend to be harsher on themselves than anyone else, so point out to your friend to take it easy on themselves. Remind them to give themselves grace. While all of their feelings are valid, blaming themselves for the relationship ending won’t help them move on. 

Look at the Positives

Looking at the positives of a breakup in the immediate aftermath is hard, but your friend will find the bright side of the breakup with enough time. Talk to them about the positives of the breakup. For instance, breaking up may have allowed your friend to rediscover themselves or their passions, or it may have helped them realize what they want out of a relationship. In any case, looking at the bright side can ease your friend’s anxiety about future relationships and help your friend realize the breakup was for the best. 

Talk to a Crisis Counselor if You’re Finding It Hard to Move on From an Ex

No one knows how to get over a breakup because every situation is different. Healing is not linear, and there may be setbacks along the way, but things do get better with time. 

If you or a friend is struggling to move on after a breakup or feel unsafe, it’s important to confide in someone. Here, at Crisis Text Line, we support anyone in need. Text CONNECT to 741741 to speak with a live volunteer Crisis Counselor, 100% free, confidential and available 24/7.