How to Help Someone Who Feels Lonely
There’s no right answer for what to do if you or a friend is feeling lonely. If you find yourself wanting to help out a friend or to work through it for yourself, we just want you to know that it’s okay – loneliness can affect anyone. Read more about how to support yourself or a friend in a time where you may feel most isolated.
What does loneliness mean?
Perhaps you found yourself wondering, “I have friends, why do I feel so alone?” This can be a common misconception, as loneliness isn’t so much about the number of people you’re surrounded by, but more-so a deep sense of social isolation or lack of connection with others. We’ve all been there in one way or another. Maybe you didn’t land an invite to a party or maybe you’re feeling low and don’t know who to call for support. In fact, over the past few years, public awareness around loneliness has grown and many believe that we are experiencing a national “loneliness epidemic.” Read more about this in the 2023 U. S. Surgeon General’s Advisory.
Can feeling lonely affect my health?
Loneliness is a pervasive feeling that can have serious implications for mental health. According to research, loneliness is linked to mental health concerns, such as depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation. Loneliness can worsen these issues, leading to a downward spiral of negative emotions and behaviors.
Are loneliness and suicide connected? Read more about the effects of loneliness.
How to support a friend who feels alone
First and foremost, your friends have you, and you’re already being a supportive friend for wanting to give them the best help you can. Don’t underestimate the power of letting them know that they are not alone. While it is valid that they may feel they have no one to turn to, reassure them that there are people who value them and want to support them. Sometimes all it takes is a kind word or a listening ear to make a difference in someone’s life.
Other ways to help a friend feeling isolated:
Share resources
Crisis Text Line is here for your friends, too. They can text CONNECT to 741741 if they ever want to vent – we are available 24/7 for free, confidential mental health support.
Actively Listen
This may seem pretty self-explanatory, but listening isn’t always enough. Actively listening may just be what someone needs to feel truly seen and heard. While we are typically inclined to listen in order to respond, actively listening requires a deeper understanding of someone’s words in order to fully process them, without preparing our response so quickly. Learn more about what it means to actively listen below.
Share some quotes
It’s okay to not feel like you have the right words. There are plenty of quotes and affirmations that can bring someone solace. Here are some we love:
- “…the sense of loneliness I got when I moved from New York to El Paso meant that writing turned into singing. I’d sing all these songs, and they’d make me feel better. Songs that crafted the way my life was going to go.” by Khalid, American singer-songwriter
- “We can’t underestimate the power that we have as individuals to provide the support that people need to provide that transition from a place of pain to a place of possibility.” by Vivek Murthy, U.S Surgeon General
Check out some more quotes we’ve gathered about loneliness here.
Share a playlist
It is possible that when someone is battling loneliness, they just want to be considered. Intentionality matters and nothing says “I care about you” more like a custom-curated playlist! Check out some playlists by Crisis Text Line if you’re unsure where to start.
Be Honest
They say honesty is the best policy for a reason. It can help to just show up as your most authentic self for your friend. Take a second and think, have you ever felt what they’re feeling? How have you worked through it? Where did you start? Share what has helped you, and even share what hasn’t – everyone is different and you never know what can work for other people.
Connect With Empathy
Keep in mind that people overcoming loneliness might not be ready to share or open up so easily, especially if they’ve been dealing with these feelings for some time. Empathy is a trait you should try to lead with. Meet them where they’re at, wherever they are at. If this becomes hard, try to recenter yourself on why you’re lending a helping hand to begin with, and focus on empathizing with what they may be going through. Here, at Crisis Text Line, we believe that you can make a difference in ways both big and seemingly small when you lead with empathy.
Remember, loneliness can affect anyone at any time, and there isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution to feeling any less lonely. Rest assured that you are never alone. If you’re the friend that needs to be checked in on, we’re here for you. All you have to do is text CONNECT to 741471 if you ever want to vent.
